Ok so imagine you’re about to play a video game. Let’s say, Mario Kart, since most people know how that one works right? The first screen that appears is the one where you’re tasked with choosing a character to play. Most people have their personal set of the same 1-3 characters they always choose. Personally, I always gravitate toward Peach. Or the one that’s basically Peach with orange hair if I’m feeling spicy. All the characters are categorized into different weight classes which affect how they perform. For example, lighter characters have lower overall speed but faster acceleration, etc. Obviously, I googled this, because I don’t give a shit and solely choose characters based on physical appearance. Not in a shallow way! I’m simply a girl who enjoys playing female characters! And, despite how differently they perform, none of them are inherently more likely to win. It only feels that way. We might feel more comfortable playing a certain character because we’re used to their specific speed/acceleration level and therefore have an easier time controlling them. And that allows us to play better. Ultimately, we have the control, and it’s up to us, not the character, to win the race. And yeah, it is unfortunate that I have to take accountability for coming in last place instead of blaming it all on Peach’s slow ass.
In conclusion, life is like…Mario Kart?
Because every day, we wake up and essentially choose who we want to be. And you might whine and think, “Psycho! That’s not true, because I’ve always been the same person I’ve always been, I didn’t choose to be a specific character today!” But you did. You can’t always control the external world happening around you, but you can control your response. And that’s huge. I think the majority of how your life plays out is determined by who you decide to be, and that affects how you respond.
For example. It’s 5 pm, and you’re on your way to the gym after work. Already slightly agitated because it’s rush hour. Oh, AND, you’re on the 405. Your road rage is bubbling under your skin, ready to erupt the moment the slightest inconvenience hits. And suddenly, someone cuts you off on the road. Now, objectively, this isn’t a huge deal, and it hasn’t like…detrimentally affected how soon you get to the gym. But it’s annoying. It’s the final addition to the ticking time bomb of today’s piled-up annoyances, and now you’re ready to explode. You’re ready to give this bomb the power to ignite, let it fuck up your mood, and ruin the rest of your day.
Except you don’t have to. But it feels natural, solely because that’s what you’ve always done. And that’s who you’ve always been. Someone who’s reactive towards everything and lets their anger overpower them.
And so you let it ruin your mood. You finally get to the gym, and walk in with a horrendous attitude, huffing and puffing up the stairs with a nasty aura that can be felt by every person you pass. And, let’s say, there’s this super hot person you regularly see there that you’ve always wanted to talk to. (We all have those regulars who partly increase our motivation to go, right?) And wow that’s so crazy because they’ve always wanted to talk to you too! But aww you’ve both been scared shitless to make the first move. Bummer! Well, guess what! They’re feeling extra confident and fearless today! And then they see you! Yay, you’re here! But you just gave mad attitude to the front desk person who kindly greeted you on your way inside. And your gym crush saw. Fuck. One look at you and they’re like, “Oh damn. SIIIKE!” because, no offense, but the vibes you’re radiating right now are ab-so-lute-ly ATROTIOUS mate! It’s physically manifesting into your face, and you’re looking busted as hell. And there goes your chance. Your one shot at love. No one will ever love you again. Jk. But with that attitude, maybe.
Ok now let’s say, you didn’t let the road incident overpower you. Let’s say you chose to be an easygoing person that day. Someone who doesn’t let minor inconveniences send you into a spiral. They cut you off, and you’re just like “Ope! Ok!” And then you went about the rest of your journey to the gym like normal. And I mean, it’s not like you were behind the wheel with holly jolly elf energy. But you were able to walk into the gym with the same vibes you usually give off and greet the front desk person in a friendly manner. And hey guess what! Your gym crush sees you! And since you’re not walking around like the hulk on a bad day, they stroll over to you, introduce themselves, and then they…add you to their roster, yay!
See? You don’t have to continue gorilla-gripping onto your old personality or your old ways. Because just like in Mario Kart, perhaps you’ve just become comfortable being the character you are right now. And that helps you feel more in control. But maybe you’d progress closer to where you want to be in life by playing a different character. You’ll never know if you continue choosing to remain stuck in the one you’re in now.
And that’s not to say you’re not allowed to have emotions like anger. Because in the second scenario, you could’ve still felt anger. The only difference is that you didn’t become it. You didn’t let it consume you and affect the rest of your day. And of course, you’re allowed to have bad days. I’m just saying that who you decide to be, greatly affects your reality. Your life will be far different if you choose to be the person from the first scenario rather than the second.
I’ve been reading some of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work lately, and he says, “Your personality creates your personal reality.” And ok wow slayyy. Who you decide to be affects how you approach life and how you show up in it. And life responds accordingly. Lately, I’ve been waking up, and deciding to be this energetic, outgoing, vibrant, happy-go-lucky person. Every time I do something, I approach it with the attitude that it’s fun. I’ve been making everything I do, regardless of what it is, fun. Going to the gym, writing, answering emails, creating content, it’s all fun! Your perspective plays such an integral role in shaping your reality. And it’s crazy because other people can feel that. Like ever since I’ve been in this more open energy, I’ve had so many more people coming up to talk to me, despite me not physically doing anything differently. I feel like the fucking Bachelorette. A magnet to my potential suitors. Before, I moved through life with a super closed-off, “please don’t talk to me,” “I hate everything, I hate people, this is all pointless,” attitude and life responded by reaffirming those beliefs. None of my circumstances have changed, yet I’m living an entirely different life now purely because I changed my perspective and persona.
We’re allowed to let go of our old personality. We can change whenever we want and become whoever we want. There are no rules!!! We’re the only ones limiting ourselves.
Another quote from Dr. Dispenza: “If, as your old self, you’ve embodied someone who’s in a lot of pain, or has suffered a lot … you can decide you’re through with that “act.” You can let go of that character – and that suffering. You can choose not to carry any of it forward with you into your new life.” Allow yourself to evolve and let go of your old character. You aren’t bound to your current personality, but you have to make the conscious choice to be who you actually want to be. Or else you’ll fall unconscious and let life, as well as other people, decide who you are.
A problem might arise for us if we’ve rehearsed a character and told the “story of our life” so many times, we’ve become that persona. We identify with that past personality – and the resulting present personal reality – and now it’s hard to break from it.
Dr. Joe Dispenza, “All the World’s a Stage”
For so long, it felt like I had drowned. Like my lifeless body was just floating through life and succumbing to whatever obstacles were in the way. But what the hell? I’m not a lifeless body. I’m fully alive, and I have the power to take back my control. I don’t have to let my circumstances alone determine where I go or where I end up. By choosing who we want to be, we’re choosing our reality. So, really, RIP to the old me.
